I have a dream, though I'm not sure what it really is.
I know what I want, but I don't know how to put it into words.
I really want a lot, though I don't know how to achieve it,
but I guess I"ll take it one step at a time, better than no steps at all.
Today, I'm taking that step towards my long time dream, of being able to share, my story, to whoever needs to hear, to whoever will be here with me.
Welcome to the story of my life.
Chapter 1: Where it all started.
Growing up, I've always wanted to have a space, my stage, to not only speak my mind, but I wanted to be heard. Not in the way where celebrities or influencers are seen and heard, but in the way where my stories and experiences are acknowledged.
Perhaps it's from the negligence I felt growing up, or maybe, I'm just an attention seeker, but it all started on that one rainy day (how dramatic!) where I almost lost my life. The day I heard a little voice in my head that says,
"I'll be that voice for others the way I wished it was there for me."
At one point in my life I was desperately seeking out, for someone, something, to hold onto, just long enough that I can keep my head above waters. A phrase that I used to repeat a lot was,
"How does one self-help when they themselves are drowning"
The annoying answer was to keep swimming.
The correct answer was to keep swimming.
No shit Sherlock.
I remember, day after day, I hoped someone would recognise the struggle I was going through, instead of "looking at the bright side", they would acknowledge that this dark side, was gonna stay for a bit. maybe more than just a bit, maybe for a long time.
Bad news is, you're going to be like that for awhile.
Good news is, you'll be fine.
I always thought it was a game of winning, of defeating the dark side. I was wrong, that led me further down into the rabbit hole. I felt like a mistake, I felt like a burden, for not acing this challenge. I felt defeated, because I was playing by the wrong rules.
It never was a game of winning, it's a game of persistence.
It's not about "thinking positive", it's about gathering all the good that you can find, knowing that you're going to be sitting in the dark for quite a while. Wouldn't it be better to have a buddy around?
I couldn't find a buddy, it felt like enemies all around, all the time. However, I was a stubborn cookie, I was determined, to make sure, no one else would feel as cold and lonely as I did, hence why, I'm here now, to fulfil the promise I made to you, who went beyond the concept of time to save me, I'm here to do the same for you.
Let's be buddies, together, through the game of persistence,